LEBENSINHALT & RELATIVITÄT.

»Na, ob du das gut findest eben. Hinterm Tresen stehen und die Leute abfüllen. Das ist doch kein Lebensinhalt!«

»Moment mal«, sagte Herr Lehmann. »Was soll das heißen, Lebensinhalt? Lebensinhalt ist doch ein total schwachsinniger Begriff. Was willst du damit sagen, Lebensinhalt? Was ist der Inhalt eines Lebens? Ist das Leben ein Glas oder eine Flasche oder ein Eimer, irgendein Behälter, in den man was hineinfüllt, etwas hineinfüllen muß sogar, denn irgendwie scheint sich ja die ganze Welt einig zu sein, daß man so etwas wie einen Lebensinhalt unbedingt braucht. Ist das Leben so? Nur ein Behältnis für was anderes? Ein Faß vielleicht? Oder eine Kotztüte?«

Sie starrte ihn verblüfft an.

»Oder was? Ist das so?« setzte Herr Lehmann nach.

»Was weiß ich, das sagt man halt so.«

Das reicht jetzt, dachte Herr Lehmann, ich sollte damit aufhören. Ich überfahre sie, dachte er, das geht nicht gut. »Lebensinhalt ist doch eine Scheißmetapher, das steht ja wohl mal fest«, fahr er dennoch fort, » ... Dann kann man es nur noch anders herum sehen, wenn man an der Metapher festhalten will: Dann ist das Leben ein Gefäß, das man gefüllt hingestellt bekommt, und zwar gefüllt mit Zeit. Und in diesem Gefäß ist ein Loch drin und die Zeit fließt unten raus, so ist das nämlich, wenn man überhaupt von einem Gefäß sprechen will. Und Zeit, das ist das Blöde daran, kann man nicht nachfüllen.«

»Ich habe doch gar nicht von einem Gefäß gesprochen.«

»Das ist doch jetzt mal eben egal«, sagte Herr Lehmann. Romantisch ist das nicht, dachte er, romantisch ist was anderes. »Du hast mit Lebensinhalt angefangen. Und wenn man von Lebensinhalt spricht, dann muß man das auch zu Ende denken. So ein Wort will durchdacht sein. Was also hat die Tatsache, daß man in einer Kneipe arbeitet, mit Lebensinhalt zu tun? Das ist doch der letzte Scheiß, Lebensinhalt. Man lebt und erfreut sich dran, das reicht doch völlig.« Gleich steht sie auf und geht, dachte er, und dann habe ich's verkackt auf lange Zeit.

Die schöne Köchin wirkte aber nicht verärgert, eher erstaunt. »Mein Gott, wie kann man sich über ein einzelnes Wort so aufregen. ... Jedenfalls ist das kein vernünftiger Beruf. Man kann doch nicht nur in einer Kneipe arbeiten.«

»Aha!« Herr Lehmann reckte einen Zeigefinger in die Höhe und nahm ihn gleich wieder runter. Jetzt auch noch der Zeigefinger, dachte er, das wird ja immer schlimmer.

»Da kommen wir der Sache schon näher. Man kann also nicht nur in einer Kneipe arbeiten. Was ist denn so schlimm daran? Wieso kann man nicht nur in einer Kneipe arbeiten? ... Vielleicht füllen wir ja den Lebensinhalt in die Leute rein, Mund auf, Lebensinhalt rein, fertig.«

»Moment mal, das ist jetzt ganz schön primitiv. Entweder gibt es jetzt einen Lebensinhalt, den man oben reinfüllen kann, und das soll dann auch noch was zu saufen sein, oder nur den, der unten rausläuft, wie du vorhin noch lang und breit erklärt hast.«

»Die Zeit, ja sicher. Sieh's mal so: Wenn man was getrunken hat, läuft die Zeit langsamer.«

Sie dachte kurz nach. »Nein, sie läuft schneller. Man selber wird langsamer, und deshalb kriegt man nicht mehr alles mit, was passiert. Also läuft die Zeit schneller.«

»Nix da, langsamer. Wenn man was getrunken hat, und um einen herum läuft alles schneller ab, dann liegt das daran, daß für einen selber die Zeit langsamer abläuft. Man selber hat mehr Zeit. Oder nimmt sich mehr Zeit. ... Und das kann er nur, weil er mehr Zeit hat.«

»Totaler Quatsch. Genau umgekehrt ist es richtig. ... «

Sie ist gut, dachte Herr Lehmann voller Respekt, sie ist gut. Und sie hat wahrscheinlich auch noch recht, dachte er.

»Moment, Moment«, sagte er. »Das gilt aber nur, wenn man die Zeit als etwas Absolutes nimmt. So geht das aber nicht. Meiner Meinung nach ist das wie mit einer Sanduhr. Der nüchterne Sand rinnt schneller raus als der betrunkene Sand, und deshalb ist mit betrunkenem Sand die Zeit langsamer.«

»Betrunkener Sand?«

»Na ja, jetzt mal metaphorisch gesprochen.«

»Also das ist jetzt aber wirklich eine blöde Metapher. Ich meine, wie kann man sich über ein Wort wie Lebensinhalt aufregen, und dann mit betrunkenem Sand kommen, das ist doch Schwachsinn.«

PROCESS FLOW DIAGRAM.

içinde bulunduğum grupların "computer geek"i niyeyse hep ben oluyorum hani benim geekliğim de ne kadarsa, o yüzden hakim olduğum programlar (gülş bebeyim bu senin için: ♥ matlab) bi yana bilinmeyen çözülmesi gerekenleri de üstüme yıkıveriyorlar, "sen çizersin ya pfd yi" mesela.

HEVES DEYİP ÖMÜR BİÇTİLER.

"ehe seni bile kütüphaneye tıkmayı başarmışlar ya, bravo!"
başardılar tabii gülendam, teslime 5 gün kalmış elimizde kütle denkliği dahi yok..

"sibirya montunu giymişsin yine."
giydim tabii burcucum, yaşlı bi kadınım ben kemiklerim falan sızlıyor, tutup maslak dağına getirtiyorsunuz pazar pazar..

"SEXXXY."

A bileşeni absorbe edilmektedir. Kütle aktarımı ıslatılmış kolon yüzeyinde gerçekleşmekte olup absorblayıcı sıvı, film şeklinde aşağıya doğru akmaktadır.

LAB GRUBUMU NASIL DELİRTTİM? YAKINDA SİNEMALARDA.

.pdd:
canım ama bu kadının verdiği föy bunları istiyorum diye yazmış
eklemekle uğraşmam diyorsan ben uğraşıcam (:
onur:
:S
ugrasmam demem ama dedıgım gıbı ne yapsam begenmıcen :D sen sakin ol
.pdd:
sakinim (:
onur:
geri dondurecekse duzeltın dıcekse
sen yaparsın
.pdd:
geri döndürür ama bunları direkt istemiş yani.
onur:
ha bunada eyvallah derse tmmdr
olsun gerı donsun
ne gerek var gece ugrasmaana?
.pdd:
:D tamam.
onur:
dımı :D
.pdd:
tamam tamam. eksikler bunlar ama yani :D kadın ok derse de son rapora düzelticem janfljadfa
bariz hastayım ama sevimli de bi yanım var qwer
onur:
:D
ehehe sorma
.pdd:
kjashdkajs onu nerden çıkardın ne sevimlisi diyorsun :D
onur:
senın yapacagın ısten asla suphe duymam artık
hanı bı yemek var zehırlı bı balık
ıste herkes yapamıyor
bu yuzden japonlar ölüyor
bilin mi
.pdd:
kjbhdkjashdkjada
bildim bildim
balon balığı
onur:
heh
mısal
sen onu yapsan yerım yanı
derım bu onu yapamazsa asla önümüze koymaz yanı
.pdd:
AHAHA
iltifat mı
hakaret mi deliliğimin boyutuyla ilgili
bilemedim :D
ama tenks :D
onur:
yok hakaret degıl
ıltıfat ıcınde demedım
gercekler
alman olmuşun sen
o_O
.pdd:
akshdkajhkdaj bu iltifattı tamam! :D
onur:
epıjhaejae

GAYLİK KATSAYISI NEGLIGIBLE.

ölüyüm bugün gözümü açamıyorum.
görüntülerle konuşiim hatta. anla yani.


Hakkaten ölseymişsin :D

valla bugün sıfırın da altındayım. 

- 273 teyim kahretsin. 

lkjfsdglsdfmlsdfgsd

Ayyy mühendis esprisi. 

Bravo yani bu mudur senin seviyen? Ög 

WAKING LIFE.

chapter 3 - life lessons

Creation seems to come out of imperfection. It seems to come out of a striving and a frustration. And this is where I think language came from. I mean, it came from our desire to transcend our isolation and have some sort of connection with one another. And it had to be easy when it was just simple survival. Like, you know, "water." We came up with a sound for that. Or "Saber-toothed tiger right behind you." We came up with a sound for that. But when it gets really interesting, I think, is when we use that same system of symbols to communicate all the abstract and intangible things that we're experiencing. What is, like, frustration? Or what is anger or love? When I say "love," the sound comes out of my mouth and it hits the other person's ear, travels through this Byzantine conduit in their brain, you know, through their memories of love or lack of love, and they register what I'm saying and they say yes, they understand. But how do I know they understand? Because words are inert. They're just symbols. They're dead, you know? And so much of our experience is intangible. So much of what we perceive cannot be expressed. It's unspeakable. And yet, you know, when we communicate with one another, and we feel that we've connected, and we think that we're understood, I think we have a feeling of almost spiritual communion. And that feeling might be transient, but I think it's what we live for.

chapter 6 - free will and physics

In a way, in our contemporary world view, it's easy to think that science has come to take the place of God. But some philosophical problems remain as troubling as ever. Take the problem of free will. This problem has been around for a long time, since before Aristotle in 350 B.C. St. Augustine, St. Thomas Aquinas, these guys all worried about how we can be free if God already knows in advance everything you're gonna do. Nowadays we know that the world operates according to some fundamental physical laws, and these laws govern the behavior of every object in the world. Now, these laws, because they're so trustworthy, they enable incredible technological achievements. But look at yourself. We're just physical systems too, right? We're just complex arrangements of carbon molecules. We're mostly water, and our behavior isn't gonna be an exception to these basic physical laws. So it starts to look like whether its God setting things up in advance and knowing everything you're gonna do or whether it's these basic physical laws governing everything, there's not a lot of room left for freedom.

So now you might be tempted to just ignore the question, ignore the mystery of free will. Say "Oh, well, it's just an historical anecdote. It's sophomoric. It's a question with no answer. Just forget about it." But the question keeps staring you right in the face. You think about individuality for example, who you are. Who you are is mostly a matter of the free choices that you make. Or take responsibility. You can only be held responsible, you can only be found guilty, or you can only be admired or respected for things you did of your own free will. So the question keeps coming back, and we don't really have a solution to it. It starts to look like all our decisions are really just a charade.

Think about how it happens. There's some electrical activity in your brain. Your neurons fire. They send a signal down into your nervous system. It passes along down into your muscle fibers. They twitch. You might, say, reach out your arm. It looks like it's a free action on your part, but every one of those - every part of that process is actually governed by physical law, chemical laws, electrical laws, and so on.

So now it just looks like the big bang set up the initial conditions, and the whole rest of human history, and even before, is really just the playing out of subatomic particles according to these basic fundamental physical laws. We think we're special. We think we have some kind of special dignity, but that now comes under threat. I mean, that's really challenged by this picture.

So you might be saying, "Well, wait a minute. What about quantum mechanics? I know enough contemporary physical theory to know it's not really like that. It's really a probabilistic theory. There's room. It's loose. It's not deterministic." And that's going to enable us to understand free will. But if you look at the details, it's not really going to help because what happens is you have some very small quantum particles, and their behavior is apparently a bit random. They swerve. Their behavior is absurd in the sense that its unpredictable and we can't understand it based on anything that came before. It just does something out of the blue, according to a probabilistic framework. But is that going to help with freedom? I mean, should our freedom be just a matter of probabilities, just some random swerving in a chaotic system? That starts to seem like it's worse. I'd rather be a gear in a big deterministic physical machine than just some random swerving.

So we can't just ignore the problem. We have to find room in our contemporary world view for persons with all that that entails; not just bodies, but persons. And that means trying to solve the problem of freedom, finding room for choice and responsibility, and trying to understand individuality.

chapter 10 - dreams

You know, they say that dreams are real only as long as they last. Couldn't you say the same thing about life? See, there's a lot of us that are out there that are mapping the mind-body relationship, of dreams. We're called the oneironauts. We're the explorers of the dream-world. Really, it's just about the two opposing states of consciousness which don't really oppose, at all. See, in the waking world, the neural system inhibits the activation of the vividness of memories. And this makes evolutionary sense. See you'd be maladapted for the perceptual image of a predator to be mistaken for the memory of one, and vice-versa. If the memory of a predator conjured up a perceptual image, we would be running off to the bathroom every time we had a scary thought. So you have these serotonic neurons that inhibit hallucinations that they themselves are inhibited during REM sleep. See this allows dreams to appear real, while preventing competition from other perceptual processes. This is why dreams are mistaken for reality. To the functional system of neural activity that creates our world, there is no difference between dreaming a perception and an action, and actually the waking perception and action.

chapter 14 - ants

Hey. Could we do that again? I know we haven't met, but I don't want to be an ant, you know? I mean, it's like we go through life with our antennas bouncing off one another, continuously on ant auto-pilot with nothing really human required of us. Stop. Go. Walk here. Drive there. All action basically for survival. All communication simply to keep this ant colony buzzing along in an efficient polite manner. "Here's your change." "Paper or plastic?" "Credit or debit?" "You want ketchup with that?" I don't want a straw, I want real human moments. I want to see you. I want you to see me. I don't want to give that up. I don't want to be an ant, you know?

OKULA UĞRAMAK.

LISA'NIN BABASININ ELİNDEN.

ZORRONUN TEST SÜRÜŞLERİ.

25.

LOVE IS...

- aşk ne biliyor musun, aşk sevgilin sana sarıldığı için sırtın mahvolduğu halde pozisyon değiştirmemek. 
- ah, şıpsevdi paketlerinden çıkan sözler gibi oldu. 
- tamam dua iğrençsin, çekil. 
- öp?

ZİLLİNİN İLK GÜNLERİ.

entertainment for the braindead.

E AMA HANİ OYNA?

YIL OLMUŞSA.

böyle kızın biri mesaj attıydı

işte hiç kimse beklediğim cevabı vermemişti, biri hariç tabi

sonra beni sevdi

baya sevdi

ben de onu sevdim

uzun uzun konuştuk

anlattık

paylaştık

ben hep kıskandım bişeylerden

ama çok sevdim de yani

hem zaten sevmesem kıskanır mıydım

böyle garip bi psikolojiye yelken açtık birlikte

kurallar koyduk

kuralları bozduk

sonra kız beni daha az sevdi

gitti

sonra bi sabah ortaköydeydik

güneşin doğuşunu seyrediyorduk

gecenin başıyla sonu arası çok uzun bi yıl var

ya da alkolün zamanı yavaşlatma etkisi

jack daniels a madalya versinler

neyse

ortaköydeydik

bank vardı

böcekler vardı

kız vardı

ben yine kıskançtım

ama hep içten içe

sonra ak sakallı kitapçı amca geldi

bir şeyler söyledi

aşk hakkında falan

kız çok beğendi adamın söylediklerini

ikisi bir oldular

beni soyutladılar

kız benim aşk hakkında bi bok bilmediğimi düşündü

gözlerim acıyordu uykusuzluktan

artık uykusuzluk sarhoşu olmuş gibiydim

böyle gelip giden bi farkındalık vardı

rüya gibi

sokaklarda dolaştık

camdaki yansımalarımıza baka baka öpüştük

çok romantik diycem ama değil biraz daha tutkulu bir şey

kızın uzun bir elbisesi vardı

altında da bacakları

babetleri vardı bi de

sonra su böreği yedik

yan tarafımızda iş konuşan iki adam vardı

ha bi de bizi takip eden bi çift

aslında biz onları takip ediyor gibi gözüküyorduk

gerçekte onlar bizi takip ediyordu

eminim madoya oturmayı onlardan önce biz kafamıza koymuştuk

sol arka masada hesabı ödeyemeyen teyzeler vardı

keşke o zaman kızın sonradan tanıştığı zengin ve 37 yaşındaki adamı o masaya gönderecek gücümüz olsaydı

hiç değilse hesabı öder bizi teyzeler için üzülme derdinden kurtarırdı

bizim kızın anneannesi su böreği yaparmış pek güzel

ondan bizim kız pek beğene beğene yemedi su böreğini

benim de saçlar uzun o zaman, gençlik işte..

ha bi psikoloji yerinde değil

tramva üstüne tramva

saçı kestirmek şart oldu

kestirmeye giderken kızı da durağa bıraktım

güneş doğunca herkes birbirini görmeye başladı ya

sanki biri de bizi görecekti

güneşin öyle bi gücü var

insanlara gösterme gücü var

ya da ben öyle zannediyorum

ama kız da öyle düşünmüş olmalı ki

giderken yanağımdan öpecekti

tuttum dudağından öptüm

güneşe karşı

gözüme güneş kaçtı

sonra düşündüm acaba yanlış bir şey mi yaptım kıza karşı, güneşe karşı?

yüzüğe karşı

kıskançlık ya.

sonra giderken yüzüne baktım

kız gitti

güneş kaldı

saçımı yıkıyorlardı

beynimin üstünden henüz ısınmamış termosifonun suyu soğuk soğuk aktı

sıcağa, güneşe inat

gözlerimi kapadım

kızı gördüm

.